Like anything you want or try out for the first time, setting your expectations might help you stave off any disappointment in the future. It’s not like you have to lower the bar or anything, to get what you want. But realizing that you may not always get what you want WHEN you want it does not mean you should stop trying or shut down. Your career life much like your personal life will be filled with ups and downs and a few sideways. Just because the path to your corner office is not paved in money and big titles, should not deter you to give up on your dream.

Setting your job expectations means you need to know what you will do for yourself and not what you are expecting others to do for you. It was nice when you lived at home and could expect your laundry to be neatly folded and your meals waiting for you on the table. If you think your job will hold that level of comfort and security think again. You don’t need to struggle in order to get ahead, but you do need to be realistic about what you can expect from others if you are not realistic about what you can set for yourself.

Having a good foundation helps you to manage your goals and makes it easier for you to become less disappointed if opportunities don’t always present themselves in the way you might expect. Your grandparents did not decide to hop back on the boat that brought them to this country just because it was too hard or they were not able to survive. You might not have the same struggles as your grandparents but throwing the towel in before you have even tried is not the right answer either. Making your way may pose its own set of challenges then wondering whether you are going to have running hot and cold water. You might not like where you work or who you work for but like your ancestors, you have to look at where you are at this moment as an opportunity for something better and nothing more.

When it comes to setting your expectations of what you want in your job here are a few things you should keep in mind before you start blaming the world:

1. Don’t expect everyone to love you-it’s never really that easy.
2. Stop judging yourself and others based on what you can and can’t do.
3. No one cares if you are popular or not. It’s not about liking you but respecting you.
4. Don’t rely on anyone else to tell you how to do your job or get ahead.
5. Stop trying to impress the boss or your co-workers.
6. If you don’t like what you do chances are you won’t be any good at it.
7. Climbing the career ladder does not mean you get to step on everyone else.
8. Looking for a role model is a gift not a right of passage.
9. Don’t hate your boss just because you are assigned to do something you don’t like. Suck it up and learn.
10. There are no free rides, learn to figure it out and be grateful for every little thing that is offered to you-as your grandma would say, “It’s an opportunity!”

Setting realistic expectations means you have to rely on yourself more than you expect others to deliver for you. If you learn to deliver for yourself the rest will follow.

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When you feel like your emotions are getting the better of you and the voices inside your head are screaming, “Stay in Your Job” or “Get Out Now!” you may start to feel like one of those imaginary characters in the Disney/Pixar movie “Inside Out.” It’s not that the voices in your head are keeping you up at night but it sure doesn’t help your situation any when you are not sure which character in your head you should be paying any attention to?

Your job like any relationship in your life needs time and attention if you want it to last. There are times when you love the job you are in and other times when you think counseling will not even patch this bad relationship. You are giving it your all but unfortunately there are too many players in the room telling you what you need to do and how you need to behave. Getting a divorce may be inevitable but you’d like to give it one more shot even if it were for the sake of the benefits. When you are feeling inside out and you have nowhere to turn, here are a few things to remember before you give it up for good:

1. Was It Ever Good? If you can recall a time in your job where you could not get to work fast enough and were the first to raise your hand when a new project was being assigned or the first thought of when you woke up was what new idea you could bring to the table then you knew you were in the right place. Instead, if you are waking to a knot in your stomach and you hit the snooze button just one more time, maybe it’s time to rethink your next move. No point in trying to rekindle a cold, wet flame.
2. How Does Your Job Make You Feel? Just like a much anticipated first date or those feelings of butterflies when you are about to try something new, your job should still possess some of the fresh magic you experienced when you showed up for work your first day. If you ‘ve tried but have lost that loving feeling for good, then you know it’s time to revisit the past and savor the good memories and move on to make new ones.
3. Are You Scared Senseless? If you wake up knowing that you will face another day in hell and cold sweats seem to take over before you can even jump in the shower, it’s time to make a change no matter how afraid of the unknown you are. Facing the reality that it’s over in your job takes a lot of courage and strength. But if you feel you’ve put in the time and you’ve done all that you can do then it’s time to move on no matter how painful.

Whether you feel inside out or outside in or upside down making a change is important to your career sanity. When your job makes you feel afraid of your own career destiny it’s time to face your fears, wipe away the tears and jump in with all you got!

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Bigger than life, older than dirt, running for the hills these may be themes that define your prehistoric job history. Looking for your next big adventure may be as simple as moving your desk to a different corner of the room. But for some us, finding a way out of the primordial landscape that has become your daily job is impossible. When you find yourself preferring being trampled by a dinosaur over attending one more meaningless meeting with a boss you’d like to stomp, always know there is a way out even if you have to take a drastic BIG step!

You may have to walk through fire before you get to the other side of your Jurassic Job, but knowing that you can escape your frustrations is a first step to making the change you so necessarily need. Whether you are trying to define your role in the organization, compete with a co-worker for a coveted promotion, or score some points with the new executive, navigating your job is as difficult as trying to wrangle a pre-historic animal to the ground. If there is nothing new for you to learn at work figure out a need in the company and just start doing it. Have an impossible relationship with a supervisor? Learn to take a risk and ask him/her out to lunch. Know you will be passed up for the promotion yet again? Re-define your role with a new job description and beat your superiors to the punch.

Having faith in your abilities is one thing, but knowing how to leverage your options and take out of this world risks is another. You are not suppose to have the answer to every question that you face at your job, but it would be nice to have some idea where your going even if no one around you seems to notice. Getting the answers you need may be important in knowing where you fit in the grand scheme of things. But if those answers are not readily available are you ready to make up your own solutions no matter how drastic they may seem?

Sometimes in your job you have to be bold and do things that they don’t teach you in school. It’s okay to be a little different, a little out of the ordinary to break years of tradition and doing things the old fashioned way. Just because your boss is a dinosaur does not mean you have to become one too. They hired you for your skills but now it’s up to you to show them how to be innovative and be daring despite the tried and true methods of yester-year.

It’s okay to honor what has come before you in the way of tradition, but doing things just because that’s been the only way is living in the dark ages. It’s up to you to break with tradition and forge a new path towards creating your job history lest you become one of the rotting relics in the field of bones known as your career.

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Your job may have you feeling down and out these days, making you question the thought of even getting out of bed in the morning. It’s not that you are opposed to work, well, let’s be honest if you didn’t have to work would you really? But when you are wondering how you got here in the first place it might be time to take the blinders off and really dig deep before job depression sets in. You are not likely to make a break so how do you psyche yourself into believing you really love your job despite its obvious pitfalls.

You are tired. We all get tired but the first sign you might be heading into job depression is your inability to focus on what you were hired to do. It’s not like you’d rather stand around the Keurig coffee maker and discuss last night’s episode of “Game of Thrones” but you may actually start feeling like a “White Walker” before the day is through. Finding the energy to make it through to lunch has got you questioning why you even took this job in the first place and how on earth you are ever going to get out. Staying focus is key if you want to avoid the dark night of the soul that defines your job.

Your job should not make you feel like you were just given a prison sentence of 25 to life. Actually that might actually be preferred over yet another meeting with your boss talking about the same project that you know will never get off the ground. Or like an episode of “Happyish” you are waiting frantically by the conference room window for the space ship to beam you up and take you home to the planet where you really belong.

Work is a bad four-letter word but feeling depressed about it will not help you rid yourself of the work-all-day blues. But here’s what will. Get up and move. Focus on one small task at a time. If you hate your boss, quit or be reassigned. Make an effort. Don’t take everything anyone says personally. Create boundaries in your job. Make room for activities that are fun and that bring you joy. Practice on getting clear about what you want. Remember to laugh at anything or anyone. Know you have options. You are not trapped and you can get out of there whenever you want. You are creating something beautiful even when you feel like a spoke in a wheel.

Never mind that your boss has a hard on for you and your co-workers don’t invite you to lunch. You don’t need a job that makes you feel less than who you are. Get deep with your feelings about what makes you happy and follow your path. It’s not going to be easy but finding meaning in life outside of work will help you prioritize what’s important to you and what truly makes you happy. When you doubt who you are and what you can accomplish you allow the dark thoughts of depression to creep into your mind. If you only had one shot at getting it right, would you waste it on the job you are doing today? If the answer is no, then start to convince yourself that you are better than what you are doing now and make a plan to move out. Whatever you do, sitting around harboring negative thoughts about yourself is one way to relinquish control over your own job depression. Fighting job depression is a fight you can win but you need to physically move out of the comfort of your bed in order to make some progress.