Most of focus on what questions we will ask when a new job offer is extended. We fantasize about the salary, the company or the office space. We focus on the vacation time, holidays, benefits and employee perks. Maybe you want to know how long it will take for you to move up the ladder, or maybe you are a seasoned executive concerned about the reporting structure and organizational chart. Whatever your station in the job offer chain is, you might not think of what you will say when you actually don’t want the job.

Most of you might think, “Well, that’s easy, I’d just say No!” Yet, when confronted with an offer, even a good offer, you may start to have second thoughts. It’s okay to process your feelings and concerns about accepting an offer that may or may not hold all that you desire. No one said you have to marry the first person that asks you. Same rule applies when you receive a job offer, you don’t have to accept the first one. You may be feeling pressure in your personal life to accept any job just to keep working and that’s ok. You are the only one who knows what is best for you and what will make sense financially and with your career choices.

When you are given a job offer that otherwise sounds too good to be true and something is telling you it does not sound right, when do you walk away?   Remember there are two-sides to every job offer. There is the giver and then there is the receiver. You can guess which role you play but you need to know how to play your part. When you still have questions about the job you are considering and you are far down the interview road, when is the right time to turn back? Just like with any relationship, you need to know when and how to deliver the message that, “I’m just not that into you.”

For some people this is not a difficult challenge. If you are comfortable assessing your options quickly and can easily weigh the pros and cons of a situation, then you are better at moving through the process of deliberation and coming to a quick conclusion. However, most of you don’t know when it’s time to pull out of the race and find yourself going further down the finish line than originally intended. This is where it can get difficult to say that you don’t want to take the process any further.

Keep in mind there are two players in this dance, you and your prospective boss or employer. Think of how you would feel if they got you all the way to the reference point only to tell you they’ve had a change of heart and decided not to move forward with little or not explanation-yes believe it or not it does happen. So if the shoe were on the proverbial other foot, how do you think your prospective new boss feels if you suddenly and far into the offer stage, decide you don’t want to go any further?

When you are faced with an opportunity that no longer feels right, it’s wise to cut ties before you get to the reference checking or salary negotiation process. Once you reach this point in the process you better be pretty sure you want the job especially if all other factors in the offer line up. The easiest way to avoid an uncomfortable situation is to be clear and transparent all the way through the process. If you think by playing your cards close to the vest is safe, guess again. No one appreciates that and it makes you appear cagey and deceptive. If any part of the offer is not to your liking speaking up immediately and stating your position, whether it’s how much in relocation you would receive, what your benefits or vacation might look like or who you ultimately will report to, is key in the offer process.

Sometimes there is no predicting when and how an offer will go south. Being clear on your expectations up front will help take the guesswork out for the recruiter or employer and ensure you are both on the same page when it comes to extending and accepting a job offer.

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Well, maybe you are coming down from the summer party of a lifetime now that you have graduated from college. But, the holidays are upon us, and you still may be looking for that perfect job with diploma in hand! You may have been lucky to receive a scholarship to school. Or maybe, you were the beneficiary of a trust fund and you don’t need to worry about looming school debt like most of your classmates. But if you graduated in June, and you are still looking for a job in October, that diploma may not go as far as you or your parents thought.

Does a Barista job at Starbucks look appealing? Weighing the benefits of getting benefits over a higher hourly salary? Don’t worry you are not alone. Your college education may have provided the foundation for your ability to analyze, evaluate and communicate your ideas, but it may not have been the guarantee your parents were banking on when it came to immediate and sustainable employment. Don’t worry you are still not alone. Many recent college grads are struggling with job employment when they graduate. Sadly it does not matter whether you graduated from an Ivy League school or a local community college, a job is a job no matter what qualifications you can boast on a resume. These days it’s not any easier if you come from a top-tier college or university, the struggle to find a job straight outta college remains tough.

Setting expectations and career tracking before you graduate is something more colleges and universities need to spend more time and attention focusing on with their students. I know many who graduated and after two years in the job market, continue to re-evaluate their options, often considering higher education or an entirely different career track to open up more opportunities. The idea that you have to “work your way up the ladder” is not an appealing option to this generation of emerging talent. The notion that you have to put in your proverbial “dues” in order to get ahead is not something students focused on when they were getting ready to graduate and hit the job market.

Evaluating your options before you graduate does not mean you need to start focusing on your choices in your junior or senior year. It means you have got to figure it out your first week on campus otherwise, the next four years will be wasted on taking courses that may or may not help your chances at a job once you graduate. Getting clear on goals early on does not mean you can’t make changes along the way.   In fact, it’s strongly encouraged to change your career track before you graduate and take advantage of internal career counseling resources. Taking informational interviews while you are still in school helps you figure out if you are on the right road or not. Shadowing someone already in the job you think you might like might also helps you gain perspective in choosing the right career before you graduate.

Internships offer hands on experience in trying out and testing a field you may be interested in exploring before you earn that diploma. Setting expectations in terms of number of jobs in the field you are interested in and understanding the hiring salary helps you to evaluate your options and prepares you for what lay ahead. Forewarned is forearmed as someone once said and just because you have your diploma, does not mean you are automatically guaranteed a job. There is a little thing called “working for it” that comes to play with or without that degree. Remember, your career is your choice not your parents. Understanding what a job pays, what career options are available after school and beyond helps you figure out if you are willing to work for it and stick it out or need a higher degree in order to get ahead. It’s one thing to be top of your class, but when it comes to getting a job, it’s not just your SAT scores that will land you a job, it’s how you work all of your experience into the mix, education and otherwise.

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Words at work can take on a life of their own. Knowing how to measure your meaning and deliver a message that is on point is not as easy as it sounds. In an effort to be “transparent,” you can sometimes say more than you mean. Even when you have to share some feedback, relay confidential information or discuss a particularly sensitive topic, choosing your words carefully when you are at work is an art form you need to practice.

You can be a seasoned executive or straight out of college, but knowing when and how to relay information in a way that does not get you in trouble or puts someone on the defensive is an important skill. You are your words whether you like that notion or not. Once it’s out there you can’t take it back. Knowing how to carefully craft your message before you open your mouth is key to ensure you stay on message and are clear and concise in your delivery. Politicians practice this craft and not everyone does a great job at it! Just because you have numerous “thought bubbles” does not mean you should say everything that comes into your head.

Clearing your thoughts, having a well-thought out message and understanding how your words hold meaning well after the conversation has ended should help you to navigate your next work conversation with ease. Your boss may value your opinion but not the way in which you deliver your message. Asking for an accepting the feedback when given helps you to hear how you come across and understand whether or not your words have the meaning you intended.

When you say too much at work your words can have dire consequences. You may think by sharing your thoughts, opinion or honest feedback that you are helping someone or the current situation. Not everyone can listen in an unbiased and unfiltered way. You have to gauge your audience when you are deliberating on how and why you should express your opinion. Do people really care what you think? Are you being asked your opinion because you have a unique point of view no one else has? Do you really want to help the conversation along with expressing your ideas or your “feelings?” Is this really about wanting to be of help or is this really all about wanting to be heard?

When you are clear on the role you choose to play in your work life, your work conversations take on a new meaning. You are either able to deliver a message that has meaning or you can flounder your way through a conversation. Knowing your role in the delivery helps you manage just how much is too much in your next conversation. If you think you are sharing too much than you probably are. Being your own editor is key in not saying more than you want to regardless the message you are delivering. Remember, if you think it’s something you would want to hear than use that as your barometer in sharing your next bit of feedback.

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Taking your work on the road is not a new concept. Companies have afforded employees the ability to telecommute, work from home, work remote or job share for years. It takes a rare individual to successfully transition into a more flexible work schedule without missing a beat. There are advantages to carving out a more relaxed way to work. Nothing screams work/life balance than the ability to be able to come and go on your own schedule. The trick to job mobility is making it look seamless. Knowing that you are able to be as effective if not more away from the desk than you are when you are behind it, signals you know how to navigate the job mobility waters like a master seaman.

What does it really mean to have job mobility? I’m not referring to job-hopping although there are those that would like to temp there way through their entire career. I mean the ability to decide how your weekly work schedule will look like. More and more millennials are defining the future of what work/life balance means. Staying behind a desk and in a cubicle or office for 8 + hours every day might as well be defined as prison rather than work. Technology has cleared the path to stay connected whether you are sitting on a beach or somewhere around the world.

The success to job mobility is to remain connected long after the rank and file has commuted home. It might mean longer days or an extended work schedule but it can be done from the comfort of your home or beautiful backyard. Work is work no matter where you are. The traditional concepts of working in an office are quickly becoming “old school” notions and work spaces and mobile offices are redefining the way in which we choose to show up for work.

For those adept at multi-tasking the ability to be mobile allows you to handle more than one task at a time even if includes picking up the kids from school or walking the dogs midday. If you can write your blog at 7am with a cup of coffee from the comfort of your bed, why wouldn’t you? Who says, working remotely means you are less productive? Without the distractions of co-workers popping in and out of your office to “vent” about the workplace, the boss or how little they are paid, imagine the amount of work you can actually get done?

Job mobility could offer you peace and quiet and make you more productive in delivering projects on time but there is always a chance of feeling a bit isolated and alone. So long as you can balance your work with knowing when and where you need to be whether in the office or at an offsite meeting location, you can battle any feelings of isolation that may come up. Remember job mobility is a way to make you feel more connected to your work product and not less connected to your co-workers. Having the ability to juggle the many things that call your attention throughout the day without the stresses of physically being in one location vs. another should help you achieve more in your job than just the work.

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Nothing screams work more than when you have to manage your job. I don’t mean managing your job search, I mean actually managing how and when you show up for that weekly paycheck. It may be that you feel you have no other choice. The job may be all you have but when just showing up for work becomes the work, it might be time to start looking for a new career path.

Your job may have its up and downs. You may love what you do but hate whom you are doing it with. You may love the team but are working way below your pay grade. It doesn’t matter when it’s not working, it’s not working. You could have gone to executive coaching, confided in your trusted network or just tried to “make it work,” but nothing is working at work.

Trying to figure out your next move can be frustrating. Most people get stuck or derail their efforts by just sucking it up and staying put no matter how miserable they truly have become. Showing up for work has become a job in and of itself. The ride to work each day has become like a walk to the death chamber, but at the end of the day, a paycheck is a paycheck no matter what package it comes in. Just because you are miserable doesn’t mean you should just up and quit your job- does it?

Well, only you can answer that question but if you ask me, it does. No one should stay where they no longer feel valued, wanted or excited about the job. It does not matter if you are paid well or not. If you are miserable you are miserable and you need to figure out how to change your environment even if that means looking for another job in your current company. If quitting is not an option, how do you effectively “unstuck” yourself and make a change?

Asking for help is the first step, dogging on your boss or your job in the process is not. When your job no longer holds the promise of something wonderful then you need to figure out what it’s going to take to make you want to reach for something new. You may feel beaten down and not worthy, but looking past your current situation to something bigger and better is what you need to focus on. Your job will always be work whether you are happy in it or not. Who said you will do what you like and not get dragged into office politics? When you realize that is part of your job no matter what you are hired to do then just may be you might find a little rainbow in the days that lie ahead. Learning how to navigate the politics is an essential part of how you manage your job, your career and the choices you make even if you love what you do. Sorry, you can’t escape that part no matter how much money you make! But when you feel like politics is all you are managing then it might be time to take your job on the road for brighter horizons.

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